feeding your soul

Starving Myself

11:14 AMHeather

Sometimes, I forget to eat. When I worked full time, I would often get so sidetracked by the demands of my job that 2:00 would hit, and I'd suddenly realize how famished I was. You know that feeling perhaps. You are so shaky that you think you might faint, and so irritable that you feel sorry for anyone in your presence. My blood sugar seems to taken a sudden nose dive where I know I am in trouble and must eat immediately. Leaving the work force did not mean leaving this habit. I'd feed the baby, change the diapers, do the housework, and suddenly feel as though I might faint from an overwhelming feeling of weakness. As my children have grown, I still experience this phenomenon. It's meal time, and everyone is starving and whining. For my own peace of mind, I fix everyone's lunch before my own. As a migraine patient, skipping or delaying meals brings a whole new level of issues. This is a key trigger to an intense and painful migraine episode. And yet, although I know better, I still find myself hungry, weak, tired, and grumpy, having neglected a basic physical need.

Working through Beth Moore's Breaking Free, I recently came to realize that I forget to feed my soul even more than I forget to feed my body. I'll get busy and sidetracked, and go days without reading my Bible, or connecting with the Lord through anything more than a quick "help me now!" prayer. Before long, I begin to feel "off kilter," and easily frustrated or irritated. My coping skills seem to diminish, being overwhelmed by even the slightest problem. I desperately need to learn to recognize these signs of hunger. I need to realize that I am weak and shaky, irritable, and in danger of an episode far more serious than a migraine--an episode of self-reliant failure.

Beth Moore notes that the Hebrew word for faint is da-ab meaning "to pine" (Strong's). She goes on to note, "How often do we pine for something we can't even identify? Perhaps each of us has experienced a longing or an empty place deep inside that we tried our best to ignore." When I was battling morning sickness with each of my three pregnancies, I would become so suddenly and fiercely hungry that I knew I needed to eat NOW in order to ward off the nausea. Poor Chris was often faced with this request--"Chris, PLEASE, I need to eat NOW!" He would so sweetly offer to go pick up anything that sounded good. But, more often than not, I did not know WHAT I was pining for. I had a craving I could not identify, and Chris would patiently endure, going through a laundry list of possibilities. I'd usually shudder or gag until something finally sounded acceptable.

This happens in our walk with Christ, too. We know we need something, or we recognize something is lacking, but we can't seem to put our finger on the craving. We try to satisfy ourselves with things that ultimately will gag us. We try to please ourselves through entertainment, relationships, a busy calendar, or even self-help books. Or maybe a little retail therapy might do the trick? The problem is that what our soul is PINING for, what our heart is needing, can only be satisfied through Christ. He alone can nourish our deepest hunger. He alone can feed us with a true sense of purpose, a true sense of belonging, a true acceptance and love. He alone can feed that place that needs His strength to be equipped for the tasks of life.

Anyone hungry? Check yourself for the signs. Are you tired, weak, languishing, aimless, restless, irritable, overwhelmed? Grab yourself a healthy snack, and feast your soul on the richest of foods. Isaiah 55:1-2 says:
Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come,
buy, and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money
on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat
what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

No need to starve yourself, my friend. Feed your soul in the Word and a little time with Him.

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