Dealing with the "Not Enough" of Discontent
10:55 AMHeatherYesterday, I waxed poetic (or tried to) about the issue of discontentment. I'm calling it out as a major issue in our lives, and I hope you're ready to join my battle cry against it and to move forward to a fuller, richer life. I believe with all my heart that being aware of and being diligent to fight against discontentment will result in life changes. Huge. Monumental.
There's this tiny seed of excitement growing in me about this. And, I cannot wait to share today how God has watered that excitement with some fresh insight. I pray it hits you as hard as it's hitting me.
As I said yesterday, I think many of us suffer from discontent. I heard from many of you bloggy friends just how true that is. Yep, many of us have a serious case of the "not enoughs." The symptoms include feeling as though you don't measure up. Feeling that something is lacking. Feeling nearly a frenzy to catch up, make up, get more, do more, be more. It's paralyzing and it's exhausting.
Today, I gotta share with you the ZINGER that God has zapped me with regarding this "not enough". Are you ready to be as convicted as I am?
So, I was driving car pools yesterday, contemplating this "not enough" mentality that plagues me. Sorta turning the whole thing over in my head, letting my mind wander. Then, there is was, smack dab between the eyes.
I have a big problem with not enough, that's for sure. I look at myself and my life and see "not enough" in so many ways. But, the root of it? The very beginning of it? The very place that is screaming for attention in order to deal with it?
The "not enough" is really not about me. It's that I don't believe God is enough. I don't believe enough in his provision, his grace, his mercies, his goodness, his timing, his wisdom for the best, and that he is for me. I think he doesn't provide enough, doesn't care enough, doesn't hear me enough, doesn't answer enough, doesn't forgive enough, doesn't complete me enough, doesn't know enough.
Oh, I don't REALLY spend time thinking, "You know, God is just not enough." Good grief, that I would ever admit that or say that out loud. Crazy! (Course, I just did...here and now). Nope, the truth of it is that it's not so much a conscious thought as it is obviously a belief somewhere in me, demonstrated by the doubts and uncertainty with which I continue to wrestle. Manifested in my "not enough" mentality that feels as though something is lacking.
I wrestle with concerns and worry about finances. I lack trust that He will provide enough.
I wrestle with prayers that I've prayed repeatedly, with near fever pitch at times, sorta giving up hope that they'll be answered. I don't really think He hears me enough. I don't trust him enough to listen.
I'm frustrated with the waiting season for some prayers to be answered. I think he's not wise enough to have a best answer in the best way in the best timing.
I replay problems in my mind, questioning things and my ability to cope with them. I don't believe He can guide me enough.
I doubt my abilities, my purpose, my goals, my strengths. I don't really believe that his plan is enough. Or that His paths are enough.
I struggle with relationships and past wounds and feeling fulfilled and heard. I don't believe His love to be enough, or his grace to be enough.
What about you? If you were to get really honest--brutally honest--where is there a "not enough" in your life and how does it relate to your beliefs or doubts in God's position and abilities in your life?
I've stumbled on a devotion reading plan through my YouVersion Bible app on my iPad. I won't say as luck would have it because I know God ordained it. It's the "She reads truth" devotion plan, and it has me squarely eye-to-eye with a follower of Christ who seemed to conquer his struggles with "not enough."
Writing from prison, Paul says:
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