Nearly three years ago, my kids were in a car with a good friend who was babysitting.  They were hit by a texting teen who ran a red light.  The car they were in spun and hit a second car.  The car they were in was totaled.  It was an impactful event--no pun intended.  It is the thing they refer to when a school assignment asks them to write about a traumatic or scary event.  It left bruises and car seat marks and some mild bumps.  Praise the Lord, no significant injuries.  But, it left bruises on them emotionally.  Honestly, what hurt them the most was not so much that the teenage driver made a mistake.  

It was that, as they climbed out the car, screaming and crying, she went and sat on the curb.  With her phone.  Continually texting.  Never once checking on them or looking over to them or talking to them or showing the least bit of concern.

That was what hurt them the most.  That she didn't even care because she was distracted with her own thing.

Believe you me, it brings a rise in blood pressure still when this mama bear considers it.  It's made me passionate about NOT texting while driving.  It still makes my kids nervous at times if they even perceive I am somehow the least bit distracted while driving.

So, I find it rather disconcerting and a bitter pill to swallow when I had the epiphany yesterday that I have been texting and driving nearly my entire life.  Not in the car, mind you.  But when it comes to my approach to my walk with Christ.  Oh, yes.  It was made abundantly clear yesterday as I sat through another revolutionary sermon by our interim pastor, J.R. Vassar--"Choosing Intimacy Over Religious Activity."

Choices.  I want to feel peaceful and joyful and full of hope and all those warm fuzzies like you may get at Youth Camp.  Oh, yes.  That's what I want my spiritual life to feel like.  I want to be content and confident and hear God's audible voice and continually be sure I am doing exactly what I was made to be doing.  So much so, in fact, that I have battled a constant cloud of doubt for 5 years now wondering what that "made to be doing" thing is.  

Oh yes--mothering.  But 5 years ago, all my kids were in school.  I had this little "empty nest" crisis about what it was to be a stay-at-home mom who's never home and whose kids are gone to school all day?  I have these gifts and talents and desires and dreams.  Where's the magic wand to turn them into more than just thoughts in my head?  I see people around me creating businesses and organizations and pursuing ministry and travels.  Yes--how about that?  How do I make that happen?  I want to matter.  I want to do something important.

My heart's desire has been fulfillment.  Yes, fulfillment.  That's the ticket.  It's not a bad thing.  We are made to be fulfilled, right?  

So, as I drive through this journey of life, I'm distracted.  

I'm on the road, all right.  Following Jesus.  I read my Bible and do Bible studies and pray and go to church and I want to please Him.

But, I'm Martha, not Mary (Luke 10:38-42).  I'm saying, "Jesus, look at what all I'm doing here for you!"  I'm bustling about and doing, doing, doing.  Multitasking.  Driving distracted.  

I've been defining my Christianity by my activity.  As J.R. preached, I'm in an earning mentality.  I'm all, "Look at me, Jesus!  I'm driving and putting on make-up and drinking my coffee and talking on the cell phone!  Look at how much I'm doing.  You owe me!"

I'm "demanding of God and it leads to doubting His love for me" (J.R. Vassar).  I'm in a transaction mentality, not a trusting mentality. Here, God.  I do for you.  Now, you do for me.  I'm getting my identity from what I do and I despise those who do less.  My activity and busyness and distractions cause me to miss the heart of the gospel.  It's not about what I do.  It's ALL about what He's done.

I'm missing the ONE thing.  The ONE thing that Mary got.  Sitting at the feet of Jesus.  

That's all.  Not activity or tasks or distractions.  Just time with Him.  

I love this summation offered in the sermon yesterday.  It sums up in one sentence all that I feel God has been pointing to for the last twelve to fifteen months.  

"We sit at the feet of Jesus so that we might become the feet of Jesus." 

There it is, folks.  There it is.  You know what this is a picture of?  Love.  Loving Jesus.  Being a gospel connoisseur.  Being intentional to just be with Him.  Getting to know Him by regular time with Him.  Removing distractions.  Putting down the cell phone and make-up and coffee and just driving.  Toward Him.  Regularly.  Not giving up.  Pressing on.  To just sit at his feet.  To be Mary.  Not Martha.  Not to get something out of it.  Just to be with Him.

We don't do this well.  In fact, I think we, as a church, stink at this more than ever before.  We are a nation of multitaskers.  If you aren't doing three things at once, you are lazy.  We pride ourselves on all our activity in the kitchen, like Martha.  Look at our lovely perfect meal we made from Pinterest while we kept up with Facebook and took pictures to post on Instagram while we have quality time with our children in the midst of it all.  See?  See?  See?  We CAN have it all, do it all, and all at once.

Jesus says, "Me.  I am the ONE thing.  The one and only thing.  Bravo, Mary.  You got it!  Just sit here with Me."  

There in time together--in constant, devoted, undistracted, continual time together--we find Him.  We see His love.  We feel His love.  We understand His love.  We throw out roadblocks to that love.  We are changed by that love.  

Less is more.  Less of all other distractions.  More of just plowing forward to the goal of time at His feet.  That's it.  Plain and simple.

Death to multitasking!  This is my heart's desire for this new year.  To learn to banish all the good things.  And settle in for the ONE THING.