15 Years Ago...

11:10 AMHeather

Fifteen years ago, I was swollen with child, big as can be.
Today, you are so big, and I am swollen with pride.

Fifteen years ago, I took a leap of faith into motherhood.
Unsure of what may lie ahead or if I could navigate the waters.
Today, I take a similar leap of faith, as I do every day of mothering.
Unsure if I've done enough, taught enough, loved enough to allow you to jump into the waiting independence.

Fifteen years ago, your soft newborn cries were music to my ears.
Today, your deep manly voice still brings joy as I hear your grown-up ideas and perspective.  Pleased that you're not too old to tell your mom you love her.

Fifteen years ago, I held you in my arms.  Tightly.  In wonder.  Amazed.  Today, I hug you with a similar wonder. At how I suddenly am looking up to you.  At how you've grown into a young man. Where did my baby go?  How did the years fly?

Fifteen years ago, I proudly announced, "Here's my son!"  My heart felt it might burst at the pronouncement of how we belonged together to form a family.  I loved sharing the wonder of you with the world. Today, I'm just as proud--if not more so. And I love sharing the wonder of you with the world just as much. To see how you've formed your own opinions, grown your own faith walk, developed your own friendships...making your own way.

Fifteen years ago, I began a new prayer life.  Pleading with the Father on behalf of my son.  Asking for wisdom.  Protection.  Discernment.  Favor.  Help.  Guidance.  Blessing.  Today, I continue to plead with the Father on behalf of my son.  Still asking for wisdom, protection, discernment, favor, help, guidance, blessing.  With the solid under footing of the years of faithfulness to undergird my intercessions.

Ten years ago, I sent you off to school.  Unsure of how I'd ever survive those hours without you.  Those hours where someone else was in charge of your care.  Today, I see the days flying until I pack you up to take you off to school.  Again, wondering how I'll ever survive the days and weeks when your care becomes your own responsibility.  

Five months ago, I sent you off to high school. The day had come.  And, some how the time between my own vivid memories of my first day of high school had blurred into the day my son met the same experience.  

I've spent these fifteen years knowing the world awaits.  The challenges will come, as they have already.  The hard days.  The disappointments I can't keep from sneaking into your dreams or plans.  I've gone from kissing boo-boos away to praying bigger pains will fade.  Successes and joys and wonderment await as well.  And while I am constantly tugged with the question of whether I've done enough, I know one thing for sure.  Your God is enough.  

The One you profess and follow and love and listen to and pray to and learn about...He is enough.  The One we've tried to point you to every day of your life.  Some days much more successfully than others.  Yet, no matter--He is enough.  

He is enough.  

And so, I can boldly proclaim, on this occasion of your fifteenth birthday -- your name is so fitting.  While we had no idea when we chose it, God certainly did.  It was the name intended for you.  Because of its meaning.

Victorious Young Warrior

Fight on, my love.  Fight on.  Victory is yours in every battle you face.  Because He is enough.  And you are an overwhelming conqueror through Him who loved you.  

Stand firm.  When you get knocked down, get up again.  And stand firm.  

Because He is enough.  He has been for fifteen years.  He will be for all your days.

Happiest of birthdays to my amazing first born!   

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