Dear Sweet Friend,

I write this specifically for you.  You know who you are...I told you to look for this letter here.  But, I think what God has laid on my heart to share with you might do someone else some good, too.  So, how about we let our bloggy friends listen in?  

Look, my heart has been heavy for you since you poured out your concerns and struggles last week.  Truly a time when I wish I had a magic wand to erase all the trouble and trials.  Of course you are weary.  I cannot imagine.  Your plate is full to overflowing.  From before you even held your first child in your arms, you faced an uphill battle toward motherhood.  Bed rest.  The threat of prematurity.  That is where we first met.  There, in that season.  And I watched you and your husband press on, determined.  Full of faith.  And hope.  And there she was.  Early.  But, ready to come on her own time table.  She has always had a mind of her own, hasn't she?  All these years later, that determination and tenacity and fighting spirit--the very things that equip her to battle all that she faces--are the very things that the enemy whispers to you about.  He throws out accusations of rebellion and poor parenting and an unwilling stubborn spirit.  True, our greatest strengths can be our greatest weaknesses when we operate in the flesh rather than the spirit.

But, I want to remind you of something.  Of a nugget of truth to help you press on here.  God wove that fighting spirit, that strength, that determination in your precious girl from before her birth.  And He has big plans for it.  He can use it for His glory and to her benefit.  And I believe with confidence that He will.  This is the training ground.  This is where the refining and molding and training are happening.  And it's hard work.  Because--bless you all--you live everyday with the labels and the medical diagnoses that are a daily battle of life and death.

Every day.  All day long.  The dark cloud of doubt and fear linger and threaten.  And the battle is not just for her physical life.  But her spiritual one as well.  And for each of you.  The enemy intends it all to harm.  To discourage.  To beat you down.  To wear you out.  Because here, in these hard tough fields you are plowing, a potential for great harvest awaits.  

So, he attacks from all sides.  With your own medical battles and chronic pain.  And the chronic pain of heartache, wanting the best for your family.  For your child.  For their future.  And seemingly being kicked while you are down.  Over and over and over.  

It's okay to scream and shout and cry out to God about how unfair He seems.  How He may not even feel safe.  Because you've prayed.  Goodness knows, you've prayed.  But, still.  The battle lingers on.  And its just too much for you.  

Of course it is.  So beat against His chest.  Let Him have it.  It's not a bad thing to model for your children.  How to authentically wrestle disappointments and anger through with your Heavenly Father.  Because He's big enough to take it.  And His love is deep enough to cover it.  And His grace is wide enough to flood over it.  

Rest.  Oh, you can kick your feet up and take a nap.  But, I mean, ask Him to grant rest for your soul.  He is the only one who can.  He alone, the maker and lover of your soul, is the only one who can pour out rest and peace on your weary, tired soul.  So, sit there.  In His lap.  Letting Him quiet you with His love.  Letting Him rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).  There, in those moments of complete dependence, I pray you will see how BIG He is.  

You're at the end of yourself.  Gracious, I would have been long ago.  Because you have battled through so much these years I've known you.  With a hand and heart constantly gripping Him.  With your own fighting spirit.  I wonder where your girl gets it?  Just go ahead and stop fighting.  Let Him know you are at the end of Yourself.  There, at rock bottom, I pray you'll see the Solid Rock.  The One who gladly steps in and is sufficient for one more day.  Or one more hour.  Or one more minute, depending on your struggle each day.  

Let me remind you.  You are an over comer.  Turn back from the mountain ahead of you and see.  See all that the Lord has brought you through.  See the victories, lining the peaks and valleys you've traveled.  The battles for another day.  Won and not lost.  You are tired, indeed.  But not defeated.  Press on, sweetest wonderful friend.  The God of the Universe, the Victor over Sin and Death, is your Abba Father.  He hears.  He sees.  He knows.  

And please please know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He's got this.  The Maker of Heaven and Earth.  The Knitter of Every One of Us.  He is on His throne.  He still reigns.  

One foot in front of the other.  Press on.  Let us carry you to the Throne Room when you are too tired or mad to do it yourself.  We've got your back.  And He, Lord God Almighty, goes before and behind to grant rest and peace and victory.    

Be encouraged.