Happy Birthday, Cooper!
9:21 AMHeather
Twelve. One dozen.
That’s how many years old you are now, my Cooper. Or, as you said, you’ve been alive for 4,380
days. You’ve always been one to define
yourself in your own way. Or not at
all. Outside the box. Creativity with no bounds. Imagination beyond comprehension. Color outside the lines. Or with no lines at all. And, I long ago gave up trying to stay ahead
of you. Because I can’t. I just
try to keep up with you, as best I can. You
think in ways I cannot begin to think.
You dream in ways I never dared.
The only thing as big as your personality is your heart.
Independent? Doesn’t even begin to describe it. But, it started from the minute you drew your
first breath. And, the nurse said that
you would have been born with or without my help. True that.
Hardly even a push was required…you were ready to come and take the
world by storm. Ready or not, here I come! It’s your theme song. You have enthusiasm and big ideas and energy
and intellect above and beyond. Too much
for one person. It’s like you got
someone else’s share of talent, I think at times. With the confidence to boot. You are sure of your thoughts, your position,
your side of the debate. Debate? Bring it.
You’ve always loved a good argument.
Even when no one really wanted to put up a fight.
I used to think there was
so much to teach you. If only you’d let
me! I’m your mom. C’mon.
But, in this last year, as you begin to shed the childish things and
embrace the more mature, I’m realizing something. I’m the student. You are the teacher. There is oh so much that I can learn from
you. I’m amazed, really. To consider how I can learn to think
big. Dream big. Let my ideas know no bounds. Believe there’s nothing I can’t do. Feel big.
Imagine big. Have passion and
enthusiasm to outpace any obstacles. Be fueled by a tenacity to go anywhere and do
anything. Set my mind and not be dissuaded. Break away from the pack.
You’ve always wanted to
be older than you are—to have the freedom you knew you could handle. Even before I did. I remember distinctly the first time you told
me to let you do more and try more things because you really could handle
it. You were respectively letting me
know that I was squashing you. I wasn’t
allowing you to be brave enough. To lead
enough. Of course, it all must be age
appropriate. And I’ve always thought I
knew more than you about where your limits are.
But, maybe. Just maybe, I haven’t
given you enough credit.
I’ve read the story of the
teenage girl whose parents let her sail around the world or the boy whose
parents let him climb Mount Everest.
Crazy. They are just kids! But, now, I’m realizing that perhaps I could
learn to follow suit and give you enough room to spread your wings and
soar. Because as you’ve entered middle
school, God has given me fresh eyes to see it.
In a way I’ve never seen it before.
Your wisdom. And
discernment. That CAN be trusted. That are becoming an equal match to your
passion. The maturity that is catching up with the big
ideas. And what an amazing partnership
that is! Crazy enough to dream big, and
wise enough to know how to do it.
I’m catching fresh
glimpses of your heart for people. Your deep concern for others. Your biggest desire to please God. To do well.
To be respected and respectable.
To be the good guy. To use your superpowers for good and not evil. To blow our minds with all that we should
trust you to do.
Sink or swim. I know that this whisper in my heart is
growing louder. And it’s scary. And thrilling—all at the same time. To give you enough room to spread out those
big wings and take flight. To realize
that my baby boy is becoming a wise young man.
To fuel your independence instead of reigning it in. To somehow still be the parent and the
gatekeeper while also being the student of a son who wants to lead. Needs to lead. Needs some wide open spaces to run free! It’s a delicate balance. To protect.
And to let go of the leash. All
at the same time. To let you learn the
hard way, if necessary. But, to trust
your instincts.
Such a cliché, but oh so true. When God made you, he broke the mold. You are one in a million. That is indeed the truth of it. And, as I tell you often—I am your biggest
cheerleader! I am on your side. I will always love you. Always root for you. Always adore you. Always be amazed by
you. May I also always be worthy of this
big personality, big heart in this ever growing package. May I learn how to dance the delicate
footsteps of giving you the freedom you crave while also being your protector. Lord, continually show me how to raise him,
to train him in the way HE should go.
Because it’s off the beaten path.
It’s a march to your own drummer.
And for a conformist like me, that’s scary. May I be bold enough, brave enough, to be the
mom you need. What a gift you are,
Cooper. A treasure. In
these 4,380 days that I’ve been blessed to be your mom. And every day to come. Happy 12th birthday!
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