Will Wonders Never Cease

12:27 PMHeather

Anyone else been a Christ follower since childhood only to discover in your adulthood how much you have to learn and grow?  My cocky little "I'm a lifer" attitude has been humbled.  The older I get, the less I realize I know.   Oh, I've certainly grown sure of my commitment to follow Him.  Yet, even still, I can't seem to shake this vicious cycle of letting a busy day deter me from time with Him.  Before I know it, a few days have gone by and I am simply off kilter and running on fumes.  Yes, indeed.  When will I ever learn?  

One of the most recent epiphanies in this exciting journey of pursuing God is just how little I believe Him.  Oh, I believe IN Him.  And, often, I do believe Him

But, for one glaring huge vacuum that seems to be the root of much angst.  I must confess here that I don't tend to believe Him or take him at his word about how limitless He is.  I've been a Bible student for decades, and actually now realize that it's an important aspect of my faith walk.  I simply need to be involved in some type of organized Bible study or going through a Bible study book in order to keep myself on track.  Unlike my husband, I can't seem to get the hang of just sitting down with my Bible alone as my main study discipline.

So, I've read the Beth Moores, the Jennifer Rothschilds, the Priscilla Shirers.  I've even done BSF (Bible Study Fellowship)--and I started on the year of the Israel and the Minor Prophets.  If you've completed that study you know the homework was like, "read this entire book today and then answer these in-depth questions...tomorrow read these two books," and so on and so forth.  Still I pressed on.  I can quote you lots of details about Noah and Abraham and Jonah.  I can make a list a mile long of all the great miracles of the Old and New Testament.

But, still...I tend to box God into those miracles as his past works.  As in, I don't expect them in the present day.  I don't believe Him that he can and WILL still perform those types of miracles.  I'm talking the tiny and big burdens of my little life.  I tote them around, and maybe hand them over momentarily before I grab them back with an attitude of, "I'll do it myself!"

Yep, 41 years old.  Following Christ since age 4.  And still a toddler in my spiritual life.  

But yesterday, I spent some time in Exodus 15--because I'm in between Bible studies and a friend posted verse 11 on Facebook.  It caught my eye since I just wrapped up Priscilla Shirer's study of the exodus of the Israelites.

Who among the gods is like you, O Lord?
Who is like you,
majestic in holiness,
awesome in glory,
working wonders?
Exodus 15:11

Glimpse of GRACE:  Indeed.  WHO is like Him?  I sat quietly in my house while everyone else slept and I meditated on this verse.  I let my mind dwell.  I gave myself the luxury of really considering this passage.  

And I felt a nudge in my spirit that is seriously rocking my world.  

What wonders do I hope for, but don't really believe He will work?  Because this promise is in the present tense...he is working wonders.  Not he "worked" or "might work"...but he is working wonders right now.  It is time to turn a spotlight into those dark places where I've allowed, "Oh, I wish and hope but don't believe THIS could really happen."  You might recognize them in your own heart as those burdens you think about often.  Oh, you pray about them.  You ask repeatedly for Him to fix these things, feeling a frenzy that if you ask nice enough or in a certain way and follow all the prayer guidelines, then maybe, just maybe.  But, peace alludes you.  Hope is not a confidence of things to come, but a longing lacking confidence.  I HOPE this might happen.  Not, because of my hope, I don't need to worry about this.

Am I striking a nerve?  Or is it just me?  If you are with me on this, then I challenge you to do what I felt led to do yesterday.

I grabbed my prayer journal and wrote out a list of wonders I'd like Him to work.  It's my list of "I hope and pray for this, but I feel no peace about this."  Yep, just put it all out there in the open.  

Then, I wrote these words at the bottom.  

"Work THESE wonders, Lord!  
              Help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)

I wrote out Exodus 15:11 on our kitchen dry erase board.  I'm working to memorize it.  And, I'm challenging myself to pray through that list of wonders daily, many times a day even.  I'm challenging myself to pray Mark 9:24 and ask him to help my unbelief.  I'm looking at each item on that list through Ephesians 3:20--He is able to do immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine.  I'm imaging the wonders he could or might do.  And, I'm asking him to carve into my brain and my heart an assurance that He WILL work wonders according to his infinite wisdom.  In this, I can find peace.

No, I'm not writing my letter to Santa Claus or evoking some name-it-claim-it theology.  I'm getting real with the Lord to say THESE are the burdens that I'm struggling to believe you with.  Let's dwell here and help me to release them to you.  Help me to believe you to do according to your loving and good plan in these areas.  Help me to rest in the true believe that you are a God who STILL works wonders.

Help me to be confident that yes, indeed.  Your wonders never cease.                 

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