Too Busy to Breath

9:36 AMHeather

I sit here in my craft room, looking out at the trees.  And, it makes me question.  How am I seeing blooms on the trees?  Where did winter go?  Really--I think my question might be where did the fall and the winter go?  Because I can hardly believe Spring Break is next week.  Yep, the wisdom of my Granny coming to life--the older I get, the faster time goes.  

Much of this school year is a blur to be sure.  I knew this season was coming.  I tried to prepare myself for the days when my main mothering task would become schedule juggling and taxi driving.  At least it feels as though that's my main task--I'd like to think I have more than that to offer?

And, I look all around me, and I see my friends in the same boat.  Busy.  Busy with mothering, being a wife, house work, children's activities, church commitments, community involvement.  When my children were little, my husband and I made a pact to regulate outside commitments as much as possible in order to allow our kids to be kids.  We were quite intentional to set some wider margins, knowing all the while that the day would come when our children would all have interests and talents they wished to pursue, and our margins would shrink.  

That day has come.  And, from what I observe--it has for most of you, too.  And, I feel in my own life a domino effect of casualties in this busy season.  Chris and I might go days hardly having a meaningful conversation.   My mind often feels frenzied.  Can I get an a-men?  Anyone else?  And, I'm going to just lay it all out there for you folks.  I feel lonely, quite honestly, in this season.  I can go days without touching base with a friend.  I long for deep connection--I long for someone to just know how my day to day is going. I want someone to run all those errands with me.  I want to sit and linger over a cup of coffee with a friend who stopped by and consider our day before it nearly runs over us.  I want my kids to play in the yard, not noticing that the sunlight has slowly slipped away.  I would love to climb into bed and not think, "what all did I do today?  I can hardly remember getting out of this bed because of all the activity of the day."

Am I the only one who thinks I may have been born in the wrong generation?  For all our modern conveniences that were intended to simplify our lives, all I see is complications.  Tonight, I am wrapping up our book club on 6 Ways to Keep the Good in Your Boy by Dannah Gresh.  I think one of the biggest convictions I've had (and hope to act on) is to unplug from our plugged in world.  I know this is important.  And, I know that if I want my kids to not live in a blur of screen time in between their activities, I have to set the example.  Bloggy friends--plain and simple, it's time to take back the margins that I've allowed to slip away.

Glimpse of grace:   I don't really know how to sum up what I'm trying to convey today.  I just feel burdened to share my heart and my concerns today.  I think all of us need to take a deep breath.  We need to stop in the middle of the chaos and just breath and connect with those in our lives.  Perhaps I can't as easily set perimeters these days, but I know I can do better.  And, I know that I must.   Maybe it's just those little things like turning off the radio as we taxi around and just talking to the kids more?  Maybe it's putting the phone away whenever we are home?  Maybe it's carving out a regular game night?  Maybe it's a family reading time before bed?  For sure--I'd like to see us Sabbath better, and reserve our Sundays for family time and resting.   

One thing I know for sure, I'm slipping on my ability to "be still and KNOW that He is God," Psalm 46:10.  To truly soak Him in and be centered in His will, I have to be still before Him.  It's rather hard to glean divine revelations on the fly.  

Does anyone want to join me here in carving out some wider margins?  My heart is stirring as I consider how to move forward.  I could use a little help and accountability on this journey.  I'd love to hear your ideas, your commiserating, your victories.  I believe this year long exploration into God's grace is anchored in a call to slow it down a bit.  Lord, help me hit the pause button more often. Today--just today, help me find moments to be still...because I need to KNOW you are God.

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