I finally started reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp this week, just on the heels of reading Heaven is for Real. And, I gotta tell you.  I should have read both books long ago.  Yet, I have a quiet confidence deep down that now is actually the perfect time for these reads, as my heart is ready for what the Lord is wanting to reveal.  Especially after finishing Beth Moore's study of James.  My fields are plowed and ready to receive the seed of these books' messages.

Plain and simply, I don't live well enough.  I have a restlessness in my spirit, a quiet discontent.  A nagging sense of settling, and my tolerance of such behavior is growing ever short.  I truly don't mind aging--at least not yet.  Now, I get a bit frustrated at times with subtle changes that have come, such as holding books further out, requiring more light to read, and the dull ache of my sciatica nerve.  Yep, just call me Mamaw.  But, on the other hand, I feel my outlook on life is clearing, the fog of people pleasing and other such nonsense is beginning to clear as I get older.  And, I have a growing sense of homesickness.  I am becoming more alert that this life is short, and eternity is waiting.  In my mind's eye, I can nearly visualize my Savior's kind eyes and warm embrace as He will someday welcome me home.  Okay, okay--I know I'm 40 not 80.  But, I don't want to wait for such epiphanies and perspective until I'm too old to really apply them and live out a changed life.  

The short of it is this.  I want a radical faith.  I want to long for His glory, to live intimately in his shekinah glory--the glow of His love, nestled in a relationship with him like I have never experienced before.  I want to be able to blow off the things that don't matter.  Really blow them off.  Never be fazed by them.  I don't want to waste my time worrying for that which doesn't last.  I want to, as Ann Voskamp addresses, live fully.  To suck the marrow of each moment of life--to live well.  To live as well as I possibly can so that I can look back and feel a deep sense of purpose.   I want to quit drowning in the task lists, the hustle and bustle, the opinions of others, the fatigue of spinning my wheels.  I want OFF the hamster wheel that goes around and I want to RUN the race.

I believe that David has something to tell me--and you--on this subject.  I believe David latched on to the very truth that changed his life so that he could live out a radical faith.  

In 2 Samuel 15, we see David on the run.  Again.  This time from his own son, Absalom, rather than from Saul.  David, of Goliath fame.  David, who killed tens of thousands to Saul's thousands.  David, a man after God's own heart.  David, a shepherd boy.  David, the runt of the litter, so to speak, whom Samuel hesitantly anointed as king.  David who wooed the married Bathsheba.  David who was not accepted by the Lord to build the temple.  David, whose own son betrayed him.  David, now running for his life.  And, there in that moment, we see what I believe to be a pivotal point in David's life.  The point where I want to turn, as David did, and choose the path of radical faith.