Frugal Friday--Baby Girl's Room Make-Over, Part 2

Drum-roll, please.... I know that both of you readers have been waiting with bated breath.  Wait no longer.  Here you go.

 

I wanted to start with this split screen shot so you can fully appreciate the change from baby girl to "I am a sophisticated 7 year old!"  My, oh my--was that birthday girl thrilled AND surprised.  My evil plot worked, and it was fun, albeit a bit frazzling, to work with the my boys over the 4 hours we had to put it all together while we had her out of the house.  Did I mention that I had to leave for an hour-and-a-half for my twice weekly physical therapy during that time?  Whew.  But those darling "bubbies" appropriately oohed, ahhed, hammered, and even made that bed--sheets and all.  

I wish I could show you the video of Caris running in the door, screaming and shrieking, "Oh, I love my new room, I love my new room, I love my new room!" while she jumped up and down.  But, I forgot that this new fangled iPhone that I got 4 months ago has a nifty new invention called VIDEO.  So, only a still shot was taken (funny--I didn't forget it took pictures).

And, now, for your viewing pleasure...more stills shots.   Take it all in, folks.  Because I have to say that I am rather proud of my $168 re-do.  I think we managed to kick it up a notch--and all on a budget.

This is neither the before nor the after--but rather the DURING.  Chaos ensued.

I would have loved a room like this when I was a girl.  Or now.  You know, either way. Oh, and allow me to point something out.  Wal-Mart did not have a matching dust ruffle.  So I bought an extra twin sheet set.  That "dust ruffle" is a twin flat sheet.  See below for what happened to the extra fitted sheet.

I re-purposed these old shadow boxes that have sat in my closet for 3 years.  A little black spray paint I found in the garage, a cut up fitted sheet for the background, and those darling baby outfits that once hung on a peg found a new home.

And this one, on a different wall, is the new home for some of the paper dolls that belonged to Caris' grandma.  (Notice the lovely light switch plate installed by biggest brother).

Bargain lamp, ribbon covered recipe box for the nightly Scripture note cards from mom, and little ribbon hot-glued to existing cream frames.  Voila!

My revised window treatment...out with the baby clothes, in with the personalization.  AND, a perfect solution for dust mite allergy girl, if I do say so myself.  No cloth to collect dust up there.

Thank you, Hobby Lobby, for this wall's decor!  I just painted the cork this hot pink to make the bulletin board really special. (p.s.  if you are all about symmetry like I am, don't worry!  I will be purchasing one more little cross to round out this collection).

I think this focal point is maybe my favorite part?  Cut on my Cricut, used up some black vinyl, and there you have it, folks.  No need to purchase such an item from some pricey store that rhymes with Ottery Arn.

That is one happy customer (along with her new American Girl doll, Josefina).  She just wanted to stop and sit a spell to soak it all in. 


There are still a couple of things to do--such as add a black boa behind those two green paintings so that they POP.  And, while I planned to sew a new slipcover for her great-grandmother's chair, Caris decided it was JUST fine like it is!  That works for me.  I love that she swears she sleeps better in her "new room."  


Stay tuned for future projects, bloggy friends.  I got the itch.  Ya know, having been in this house for 3 years, it's about time I do some updating.  Be watching on Frugal Fridays to see the trouble I get into!  And, feel free to craft-lift any of my ideas, any ole time.

No older brothers were injured or harmed during the making of this room re-do. And, yes this post is named Frugal Friday, yet it was published on a Thursday night.  At least I'm not a day late and a dollar short, as my Granny used to say.

My 7-year-old Sweet Girl

Sometimes, defining moments in life seem nothing but mundane at the time.  It's only later, in hindsight, that we realize their significance.  Over the last 10 days, as I have plotted and planned a slumber party for my baby girl as well as a big surprise birthday room re-do, I keep thinking of a defining moment in my journey with the Lord in relation to this child.

Chris and I were fulfilling our monthly nursery duty assignment, as parents of preschoolers were asked to do at our church at that time.  Having a son the same age, we were caring for the eighteen month olds that day.  They were a spirited bunch, and Chris and I entertained them as best we could.  There was a darling little girl in the group, although I couldn't begin to describe her.  Other than her shoes and her bow.  Those shoes.  They were little black patent mary janes, worn with lacy white socks.  And she wore a big bow in her hair.  When I looked down at her shoes, that image stuck in my head while a sadness welled up in my heart.

Later that day, after the hustle and bustle of our morning had long passed, I contemplated why I felt a sudden twinge of sadness.  Then, it dawned on me.  I was a perfectly contented mother of two precious sons.  Having worked in adoption with infertile couples, I was quite pleased and blessed to be a mom.  I did not take for granted that I had, indeed, been given the privilege of giving birth to two such wonderful creatures.  But, I realized I had an unrecognized expectation that in my "someday" of mothering, I would have a little girl.  I would do pink, frills, lace, dresses, bows--and yes, those little black patent mary janes.  

But, after two children, our family was complete.  Despite an occasional dull nag that spoke of a sense of incompleteness, we decided we would have no more children.  Pregnancy didn't come easily for us.  I had one sister, and my husband grew up an only child.  So, two children seemed our max.  And, many many days of mothering two boys, I felt my abilities had been stretched beyond the need.  There was NO WAY I could handle another child--of either gender. This realization and strange grieving for black patent marked a wrestling match.  And, with time, I surrendered it back to the Lord.  I chose to believe Him for the good and faithful and omniscient Father that I love and serve.  So I chose to let go of the expectation to mother a girl.  In time, I actually began to feel sincerely joyful to consider my someday daughters-in-law or granddaughters, and the things we would share later in my life.  

Thus, you can imagine, it was quite a shocking cold December morning when we discovered over a year later that God had a different plan.  But, that is just His character.  When I choose to trust, He chooses to bless my obedience.  Sometimes those blessings look mostly like I imagine.  Sometimes they are different and at first I doubt them.  But sometimes--sometimes they are just dramatic displays of His GRACE--His unmerited favor.  

Just look at her.

Truly, hardly a day goes by that I don't remember that she is a gift of grace.  After complete surrender--just look what my God did for me.  Not because He had to--but just because He could.  I can't even say her name without being reminded of His grace--because Caris means grace in Greek.  My little Caris Emily.  That precious gift that was the missing piece of our family puzzle--that we didn't realize we were missing!  Black patent shoes and hair bows and all.

And so it was with quite a contented sigh that I started this day braiding her hair.  I didn't take for granted the chance to do a girlie room make-over.  I wouldn't trade my sons for anything.  They are treasures and delights.  And, she is the cherry on top of the cherry of it all.  

Happiest of days, my sweet 7 year old!  Thanks for being a constant reminder of the depth of His love and the width of His grace.  May you experience it fully all the days of your life.

The God I Serve

Funny how things change.  Nearly 10 years ago, Muslims across the United States decried the actions of the terrorists from that fateful day of 9/11.  They were quick to defend their faith--striving to separate themselves from the hateful extremists.  Media outlets everywhere were carrying their stories, as well as the back lash against American Muslims in the form of hate crimes.

Today, I am feeling like one of those American Muslims.  I am frenzied in my desire that my faith not be misunderstood or aligned in ANY way with the extreme and hateful actions of that Norweigen gunman.  I cringe to consider that Muslims, atheists, seekers, or agnostics--or people of any faith--would in any way associate the God I serve with the actions of that man.

He might be claiming his "justified" actions due to his religious convictions.  But, he is incredibly deceived.  He might use the word Christianity to describe his faith, just I claim Christianity.  But, what he means and what I mean are worlds apart.

Because, you see, the God I serve "so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son."  The Lord I serve is a God of mercy, grace and love.  The Christ I serve gave his very life even while we were yet sinners because He'd rather go to hell for us than to heaven without us.  My Savior spent his time on earth in the company of tax collectors, prostitutes, and adulterers.  He loved the "unloveable."  There were no "untouchables" in his circle of friends.

The God I love drew us with an everlasting love, and it is his LOVINGKINDNESS that draws us to repentence.  My Lord forgives my sins, and casts them as far as the east is from the west.  My God made a way to reconcile with his faithless followers, intent on loving them back to a right relationship.  His desire is that NONE should perish.  My Lord redeems my pain, trials, and consequences from my sin for His good.  My God is slow to anger.  My God delivers me from the bondage of sin and strongholds--and just like the Israelites when they left Egypty--I am not just delivered, but I leave the bondage with a plunder.  

My Lord chose to use a former hate-filled persecutor of Christians to be the author of many books of the Bible.  My Christ was born of the lineage of both a prostitute and a Moabitess, the sworn enemy of the Israelites.  My God used a poor shepherd boy to become king.  And, when that king fell into adultery and even murder--my God redeemed him when he repented rather than cast him away.  My God delivered three young Israelites from a fiery furnace--to the point that they did not even SMELL of smoke when they came out.  My Christ stood between the angered men and the adulterer caught in the act, saving her life--but more importantly, pointing her to eternal life.

This could be a very long blog post if I had the where-with-all to remember all the incredible ways that my God showed his love to His people throughout the Bible and throughout my lifetime.  But, suffice it to say--my God is a God of love.  There is no room for hate.  Instead, there is grace, mercy, and forgiveness.  My God Almighty condemns actions of hate.  Christianity is not designed to conquer through violence, but to grow through a message of hope and love.  

INTENTIONAL challenge:  Be very clear whom you serve.  Be wise and discerning.  Be filled with His love.  Let it overflow onto all whom you encounter in your day.  That is what Christ commanded.  And, choose you this day whom you will serve--the righteous God of love, or the god of the flesh who will lead you into violence and hate.

Frugal Friday--Baby Girl's Room Make-Over, Part 1

Listen, you bloggy friends HAVE to keep this a secret!  Because if I let you in on it--you CANNOT tell my baby girl.  Um, yeah.  I DO mean the nearly 7 year old who will soon tower over me.  I know she's not a baby, but it's all going by too quickly.  So, I was a little sad when she began making noises about updating her room.  WHAT?  The adorable baby pink and apple green room?  The one with the duvet that my husband picked out?  And the paint color a super cute 3 year old chose all for herself?  What did she mean something more grown up?!

[Insert deep sigh].  I can't deny it.  Seeings how she now nearly reaches my chin and says these very mature things (in between the whining or baby talk regression) that make me realize she really is growing up--whether I like it or not.  

So, it boiled down to this.  Her top two birthday wishes were a hamster or a room make-over.  Room make-over it is!!  Here's the plan. Chris will take the chil-rens out of the house this weekend for me to finish up a couple of crafty projects.  Then, on Wednesday, he will kidnap the birthday girl for a long lunch while the boys and I QUICKLY install the new bedding, rug, lamp & wall decor.  Later on, I will somehow manage to sew a new curtain and chair slipcover.  Probably after school starts back....

My budget for said project is $150.  I went SLIGHTLY over (by $18).  Because--here's the deal--not just any zebra rug will do--must be white & black--not cream & black. And nothing that looks like a bath mat.  Before I continue, take a look around and check out the "before."  And, feel free to ohhh and ahhh at it's little girl cuteness.

Not really sure what is going on with the top of that cedar chest under the window that belonged to her great-grandmother.  She loves those blankets piled up there.  Alrighty then.  And, that purple Caris canvas?  Her cousin Abby taught her to write her name, and they created that together.  DARLING!  The lamp...I can't part with that.  I made that at about 9 months pregnant, burning my swollen fingers with hot glue.  So, it'll have to take on a black bow or some hot pink flowers to stay with the new decor.  And, those sweet little clothes for the window treatment all came from some special occasion in her little baby and toddler life.  I will soon be packing most of them away.  But, I have figured out a way to display 3 in a more "mature" fashion.

Let me lay out how I spent the budget, and then come back next Frugal Friday to see the end result! 

Comforter & shams $34.00 (Wal-Mart)

Sheets & bedskirt $30 (Wal-Mart)

Hot pink bed chair thingie $12 (Wal-Mart)

Wall decor, lamp, and zebra pillow $42 (Hobby Lobby)

Rug & body pillow with plush zebra cover $50 (Target)

Repainting shadow boxes I already have  FREE

I hope that the crowd will burst into applause--or at least the birthday girl.  Praying the only tears are from JOY.  We are keeping the light pink walls because this Mama is officially boycotting painting.  I am JUST now getting my neck back to normal, after all.   There you have it.  Now, just stay tuned for the big reveal....

The Prude vs. The Porn

If you think this is going to be one of those ranting blog posts decrying the ills of society, you are right.  Because I've had enough.  And, since I have this public forum, I felt it was a good time to share my opinion.

Monday afternoon, I took my children and a-child-on-loan to get ice cream in the mall food court.  There it was...a huge window display directly across from the ice cream kiosk, and within yards of the children's merry-go-round.  It was a picture of a scantily clad young lady serving as an advertisement for a lingerie store.  Okay, okay.  Sure it's a lingerie store.  But, my goodness--you were face to face with this picture that I felt bordered on soft porn.  You may see me as a prude for feeling offended.  Then, I guess I really can't explain what it's like to have to warn my boys and their friend to look away.  Because men are wired visually, and these young men entering their adolescent years will undoubtedly be faced with many such images.  But, I didn't expect to have to warn them to shield their eyes from THAT in what should be a family friendly food court.  Or how, pray tell, would you advise me to explain to my daughter that a body like that is not realistic and her body image should not be warped.  And, how to convince her that the only way to appear attractive is NOT to show so much skin or be a sex object?

I guess I'm a prude because I hate the fact that within a one mile radius there are 3 restaurants whose branding includes scantily clad waitresses.  Sure, the wings are great.  But, that isn't REALLY what they are selling.  It goes way beyond that.  It's an image that women are only as valuable as their, well, valuable assets.  And, men can be tempted by images that are culturally acceptable--and that can be the beginning of a very slippery slope.  I guess I'm a prude because I think it's RIDICULOUS that a restaurant called Twin Peaks advertises that kids eat free.  Oh, sure--that's a great alternative to Chuck E. Cheese.

I guess I'm a prude that I am alarmed by these blurry lines.  All in good fun.  Innocent.  Attractive.  Harmless.  I guess I'm a prude that I am grieved by the lives that are ruined because a downhill slide began with such "innocent" good fun.  I guess I'm a prude because I've seen what is "acceptable" turn into an addiction that is not yet acceptable to discuss.

I guess I'm a prude because I want better not just for my children--but for others as well.  I want families and marriages and lives to not be BROKEN and ruined and torn apart because of an addiction to pornography.  I don't want men to start down a slippery slope that leads them to do things they never thought they would. And they drown in their shame.  I don't want wives to feel inadequate.  I don't want marriages to lack trust.  I don't want an industry that lies to it's participants about worth, value and priorities in life.  

You know, in the circles of those battling alcohol addiction there's a known fact that those with a predisposition need to tread softly.  They should avoid even one sip once they begin their battle for sobriety.  Because it all starts with one sip.  But, what about all men who are predisposed by their genetic make-up to respond to visual stimulation?   You see, I believe countless acts of violence against women and children began because a man once visited a certain kind of establishment, or harmlessly visited a website.  Not that these behaviors always lead to such an outcome.  But, I bet that 100% of the men who did unspeakable things would pinpoint someplace in time when innocent good fun lured them.

So, call me a prude if you will.  I'm okay with that.  But, please don't mishear me.  I am not railing against anyone who likes to visit certain restaurants or who buy certain magazines.  I am simply trying to be a voice of reason to say that it CAN be more dangerous than it would appear.  I am simply wanting to be a warning label--this stuff can lead you places you never wanted to go.  And, so, I will continue to try to raise my boys to choose BEST--not good.  To learn self-control, to learn "just a glance, don't take a chance."  I am wanting to raise a girl (and boys for that matter) who see beauty as a heart that loves the Lord so fiercely that it overflows into kindness to those around them.  And, I am wanting to be the voice of those I know who are all alone or struggling or missing their family or broken hearted because their addiction overtook them.  And it all began with one glance.

All I Got for Today

Ya know how we call Wednesday "hump day" because if we pass that hump, the weekend is straight ahead?  Well, this week is my official "hump week" of the summer.  We've had an amazing summer and made some lifelong memories.  But there are some things weighing heavy on my heart that I cannot share.  And, my children have hit that, "hey, it's been fun but we've had about all the togetherness we can stand" point.  I realized today that this is a typical midsummer funk week for our little family.  We usually rally to finish strong as the summer winds down.

And, so today, this is all I've got for you.  Mulling over the stress, trauma, drama, and heart-heaviness, I am reminded of my oldest son Collin's favorite Scripture passage and this picture I took in Hawaii that best sums it up.

 ¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
   where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the LORD,
   the Maker of heaven and earth.

 ³ He will not let your foot slip—
   he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
   will neither slumber nor sleep.

 ⁵ The LORD watches over you—
   the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
   nor the moon by night.

 ⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
   he will watch over your life;
⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
   both now and forevermore. 

Psalm 121 

Whatever today has held for you--or even what is looming for tomorrow...lift your eyes to the mountains.  Remember your help comes from the Maker of heaven and of earth--the Maker of YOU!

Sad but True Confessions

The following is a true story.  The names of the not-so-innocent children people have been changed.

After a lovely week long vacation from all things motherhood, to say the re-entry was rough would be an understatement.  The day of the flight back, I was awakened by an automated call announcing my flight had been cancelled.  Not to worry--the airline had re-booked us to return home one day later.  Then, a not-so-friendly ticket agent could not understand why that wasn't acceptable?!  (do most people agree to this?).  Panic and phone call #2 led me to a nicer ticket agent.  Problem solved, arriving home a bit later, but now having to switch planes.  Except that flight #1 was delayed.  More panic.  By God's grace, flight #2 was leaving out of the next gate.  Whew!  Then, a crazy DFW cab driver whose sanity or sobriety should be questioned verbally assaulted us the entire way home, then refused to take our money.  Yet, he threatened to call the police because we wouldn't pay?!  Huh?  As he yelled at me, my ever-so-patient husband stepped behind us and firmly let him know to leave our neighborhood.

Whew!  The next night a migraine came.  And, the children returned.  The perfect storm of the last few days culminated in a very, very rough day yesterday.  

There was whining and fussing and arguing.  Sarcastic comments about the lack of food in the house (because my magical grocery fairy had forgotten to fill the pantry whilst I was away).  Complaints about being bored, ignoring commands to put their breakfast plates away.  Cries over the laundry list of friends who were not answering their phones to set up a play date.  Sorry--I mean a time to hang out (I forget my kids aren't preschoolers anymore).  My head was pounding.  My body was tired.  Even calgon couldn't take me away.  

A movie was my solution to both entertain the kidlets and give me a nice, dark theater for my throbbing head.  Except that I gave no budget for $15 popcorn or $5 cokes.  Whine, whine, whine--so UNFAIR.  (Didn't we JUST eat lunch?).  Buoyed by the enjoyable movie, I surprised the kids with some ice cream.  Except we had to pass Legoland and the new Aquarium to get to the food court.  Yep--you guessed it.  "WHY can't we EVER go there?"  Deep breathing and counting to ten for me lest I say something I regretted.

Three milkshakes later, I asked my darlings to watch my purse while I ran to the restroom.  A quick 5 minutes later, as I bolted across the food court--I saw the purse.  Alone.  On top of a table.  No children in sight.  And, my blood pressure rose.  QUICKLY.  Of course, their defense was they had only walked away for a minute.  Teeth gritting.  Major tongue biting on my part.  And, we drove home with children fussing about how unfair and boring the day had been.  

And, THEN, things escalated.  The never-ending whiny day was truly never ending.  While I escaped to my bedroom as quickly as possible and my beloved tucked the little darlings in, I thought I could relax.  But, then, just when I thought it was safe to get back in the water, a child battled insomnia.  And for nearly 4 hours, said child appeared repeatedly in our room, crying and weeping and gnashing their teeth.  And, oh, I wanted to join in!  So I did.

Somewhere about 12:30 a.m., my husband heard me grumble something about turning in my resignation because I was done mothering.  (This works about as well calling in sick, by the way--in case you were wondering).

I woke up exhausted and still frustrated and unsure how to navigate the way.  And, I relented to the conviction that I should at least start my day by reading my Bible.  Zap!  There I was, in the story that I read, and I knew it was my Heavenly Father's way of gently reminding me of my priorities.

 ⁹ But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

 ¹⁰ But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. ¹¹ And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?” Jonah 4:9-11

INTENTIONAL challenge:  Just was Jonah was angry because the plant God gave him withered, I was angry because the children He gave me were struggling with re-entry--just as I was.  I have been grumbling about having to delay my task list, juggling the needs and desires of three children who want things to be fair, and the foolishness that is bound in the heart of a child.  All the while, God says that while my priority is the plant--His priority is the people.  These short people He gave me.  These blessings--NOT impositions.  Ouch.  I have got to refocus here.  Deep breaths.  Frequent prayers.  Submitting to Him to choose His perspective.  Maybe I should carry around a withered plant today to remind me?!

An Oprah-esque Moment--Only Better

So, while lying in bed last night waiting for migraine meds to kick in, I was channel surfing.  Unfortunately, not much was on.  I came across the OWN channel with an Oprah: Behind the Scenes.  It was the episode behind her big two-day send off event.  Although not a regular Oprah watcher, I had actually watched those two days, enthralled by the constant parade and accolades from all manner of celebrity.   I decided to stop and take it in.  

There she was--Lady O--absolutely overwhelmed with the amazing displays of love and affection.  Her friends--the likes of which include Maria Shriver, Beyonce, Tom Hanks, and Will and Jada Smith--praising her in grand scale.  Wow-wee--it was a who's who.  And, then that magic moment when the men of Moorehouse College marched in, carrying little candles, to commemorate all the people who had received an education because of Oprah.

That moment got to her, and she cried and cried.  She exclaimed behind the scenes that there just might be such a thing as too much love because it was just too much to take in.

I went to sleep last night thinking of what that would be like to be Oprah--or to at least be in a position where there is an event planned just for me.  (Can you tell I am a words of affirmation girl?).  An event planned just to give props for all the ways I changed the world.  An event where the people I have touched let me know that.  And, the people I love publicly giving huge displays of their affection.  Songs sung dedicated to me.  An endless parade of "this is your life" and "attaboys!"  [ Of course, on days like today, I'd probably settle for just one of my three children thanking me for cleaning up their mess or taking them to a movie.]

I woke up this morning still pondering this.  And, then I realized something.  The truth is that such an event IS planned, and WILL happen--on a heavenly scale.  Well, at least in the way that I understand how the Bema Seat will happen--it will be such an event.  And Jesus Himself will be the Master of Ceremonies.  In fact, He may be the only audience?  Honestly, no one else will be necessary because I won't care about anyone else.  My wordly desire for man's approval will have disappeared. 

Here's the thing.  At a Ladies Retreat with my church a few years ago, the speaker led us through this amazing dramatization of the Bema Seat--or the judgment seat of Christ.  The time when we aren't condemned because we chose to believe.  But, we will be rewarded for our earthly deeds that had an eternal outcome.  The speaker had us close our eyes and put ourselves in the scene she described, based on several Scripture passages, including 2 Corinthians 5:9-10:

⁹ So we make it our goal to please him, whether 

we are at home in the body or away from it.  

¹⁰ For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. 

 

In this exercise, she so eloquently painted a picture of what the Bema Seat might look like, when Jesus rewards believers for the investments we have made into eternity.  You might check out something similar here.  It was so powerful!  To imagine that moment when the wood, hay, and stubble fad away (1 Corinthians 3:12), and the gold, silver and costly stones remain.  When the crowns awarded me are then cast at His feet, and I can never have earned enough to satisfy my desire to give all glory back to Him.

INTENTIONAL challenge:  Have you ever watched someone receive an Academy Award, or a Nobel Peace Prize--or like Oprah--an endless list of nods and applauds?  And, have you wondered what that might be like?  To be rewarded in that way--to be praised in that way--recognized in that way?  Our day is coming.  Our Oprah-esque moment where we shed tears and feel overwhelmed with the love and the joy because of the way we are recognized.  Only BETTER.  Our moment will be eternal.  Our Rewarder far surpasses the glory of Hollywood's elite.  And if we feel regret in heaven, it will only be that we didn't seize the moments more often in order to invest in eternity--to make the MOST of our Bema moment.  Oh, Bloggy Friend!  If I could only keep that in the forefront of my mind, every moment of every day...may it ever inspire me--not to greatness, but to Godliness.

Frugal Friday--Let's [dinner] Party!!

When I was growing up, we always picked up lunch on our way home from church on Sundays.  It was usually Wendy's or McDonald's, and sometimes we'd even stop and eat with our friends, the Weltys, at Taco Bell.  And, on REALLY special occasions, we'd go to the Officer's Club at the base for brunch.  So, to me, Sunday lunch means eating out.

Even during our rice-and-beans season of getting out of debt, we tried to budget for Sunday lunch.  If we don't eat out any other time in the week, we love to eat out on Sundays.  But, now, as my children are growing and no longer content to order kid's meals, this Sunday tradition is starting to require some serious cash.  And so, I have tried to think of a "wiser" alternative for spending our Sunday lunch budget.

While driving to the grocery store last week, it dawned on me that I could easily serve a home cooked meal to our own family and another family for the same amount of money!  I love the idea of having friends over and trying to be a blessing to them.  But, I've always had this mental block that hosting another family--at least with many of our friends--means feeding 10-15 people.  But, with the cost of feeding our hungry crew at a restaurant, I could EASILY host a whole slew of people for the SAME price.

In fact, every other month, we DO feed about 20-25 people on the last Sunday of the month!  We teach the newlywed Life Group at our church, and with our co-directors, we alternate hosting what we call Last Supper at our home.  The host provides the entree, and everyone else brings sides, drinks, and desserts.  The truth of it is that I can feed a small crowd for about the same amount of money or less than taking my family of 5 to a restaurant. 

Duh!  I don't know why I hadn't seen it that way before.  But, I feel inspired to host a dinner party more often.  Nothing fancy--I am not Martha Stewart or Rachel Ray.  But, even a simple meal is a treasure when surrounded by family and friends.  And, I believe hosting dinner parties has become a bit of a lost art.

INTENTIONAL challenge:  My mind is whirling with the possibilities, and I am determined to quit saying, "let's do lunch" and actually pull out my calendar and set a date.  To host at our house.  I can pair my Sunday lunch budget--or any other day of the week--along WITH my love of being hospitable.   I can fix a brisket, a roast, chicken enchilada casserole, taco pile up, baked potato bar, or even chili.  I don't need to feel constrained about serving a fancy meal.  Don't we all love being freed from cooking?!  So, I think it's time to realize that feeding a crowd is not really a stretch of our budget, and to be freed from my assumptions on people's expectations.  Time to start some new traditions.  I can be frugal AND phone a friend to say, "Let's DINNER party!"

Travel the Road

On our flight to Orlando for our amazing Disney cruise, we sat in front of a 4 year-old boy.  He was a very chatty young boy.  And loud.  He asked a million questions of his teenage cousin sitting with him, questions like, "ARE WE GONNA CRASH?  OH!  I SEE THE BAG HANDLER!  IS HE GOING TO BREAK OUR THINGS?  WOW!  HERE WE GO...WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I didn't even have time to be irritated because my ten-year-old did it for me.  Except this caused me to chuckle because about two seconds ago, HE was the vocal preschooler asking such questions.  I literally laughed out loud at the irony of my sweetest middle child rolling his eyes at the youngster behind us.  And, I had one of those mommy moments where you feel as though your chest is being squeezed because you suddenly notice that your babies aren't babies anymore.

One of the reasons that our vacation was so fabulous is that our children are the perfect age for it--old enough that traveling with them is a breeze, and young enough that they were still enchanted with the magic of our travels.  And, I find myself at this season of mothering with a realization.  THIS is the time to seize the opportunity in a new way with these teachable children.

NOW is the time to seize their maturity and ramp up discipling them and teaching them important things like how do you hear from God, how do you draw near to Him, how to learn to let Him guide you in every aspect of your life.  Sensing this important time when my children are making their faith walk their very own, I am determined to find a way to lead them in this journey.  And this summer has felt like a precious window in their development.

I asked several Godly mothers and mentors about books or tools they have used.  The proof is in their amazing children.  And, one particular resource kept coming back to mind.  It's a DVD series called Travel the Road.  It's sort of a Survivor-esque documentary series which follows 2 young men who travel the world, following God's leading, to tell people about Christ.  

While I originally pictured us sitting around the breakfast table engaged in deep conversation about all things of the Bible, this DVD series is just the ticket for now.  It has captured my children's attention, and is sparking some great conversation.  We are working together to beef up the small study guide that comes with it in order to dig deeper into the Word.  And we are all inspired to see these ordinary twenty-somethings from America who are venturing all around the world to share love, kindness, and the Good News with all the people that they encounter.

INTENTIONAL challenge:  It is my strong conviction that seizing teaching moments with my kids sometimes involves creating those teaching moments.  And, I am learning that making a disciple of my children doesn't have to involve long study times, but rather engaging them in the wonder and thrill that is a life following Christ.  When we look at Deuteronomy 6:7-9, we see that we, as parents, are to literally talk about the Lord and give instruction about Him to our children as we go through our daily routine.  We just have to choose to ask for eyes to see every opportunity--and seize the moment as we travel the road.

A City on a Hill

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on 

a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp 

and put it under a bowl. 

Instead they put it on its stand, 

and it gives light to everyone in the house.  

¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, 

that they may see your good deeds and 

glorify your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14-16

When traveling to California this summer, I saw the hills of Sausalito, and the above verse immediately came to mind.  The beauty of this city built from the hills toward the shore was an unexpected treasure.  I didn't know anything about Sausalito before my trip, but I knew as soon as I saw it that I was smitten by it's charm and character.

A city on a hill.  Something that is obvious and seen from miles around.  A town that stands out and stands above towns built down in a valley.  A landmark.  Something that cannot be hidden.  

We, as followers of Christ, are called to be a city on a hill.  We are called to shine our light in order to illuminate the darkness.  We are to stand out, to stand above, to be a landmark.  Not by the rules we follow or the church we attend.  Not even because we do the right thing.  Because many people do many good things without ever pointing anyone to Christ.  

What lifts us up to be that city upon a hill?  What elevates us above the crowd so that we shine in a way that leads other to praise our Father in heaven?  These questions often plague and entangle Jesus followers.  We tend to complicate matters, when truly, the answer is simple.  It boils down to this:  to strive to love Christ and know Him more today than the day before.  And, when we do this, "all these things will be added" (Matthew 6:33).  Our love for Christ will spill over into our love for others.  I believe if we had to summarize Christ's ministry to one word, we would say that He is about LOVE.  LOVE lights our words, our actions, our motives, and our thought lives in a way which brings us to an elevation where all take notice.

INTENTIONAL challenge:  From looking at the pictures above, do you see what obstructs the view of the city on the hill?  The fog rolls in and seems to cling to the top of the hills, blocking the view completely.  We are all too often like THAT picture.  The fog of our own agenda, worldliness, materialism, bitterness, and anger obstruct the world's view of our beauty that is the LOVE of Christ.  Which picture are you?  The first or the second?  Rest assured, the solution is simple.  When we let the Sun shine by seeking to love and know Him, you can be certain that the fog will quickly burn off.

A Disposible Generation

When my sisters-in-law were graduating from college and high school in May, I posted an old picture of the girl cousins from the family on FB.  OOPS!  Sweet cousin Ashley was not a fan of the picture that I selected, showing her darling self at a young age.  To even the odds, I then posted an embarrassing picture of myself with my then "new" boyfriend (yup, my future husband).  Ugh, yay, I was rocking the side pony with some lovely neon windshorts and black bike shorts underneath.  Cause, trust me, that IS how we rolled back in 1990.

It was all in good fun, and I enjoyed the many comments about our baby faces and my 80's hair.  But, one comment really has sparked some deep thoughts.  You wouldn't think a side pony would cause me to reflect on life's great truths about our generation.  But, then, you would be wrong. 

Our friend, Nick, asked why I was holding a cool whip container in my hand.  (Yes, bloggy friends--he knew me back then so he was not distracted by my big bangs).  I had brought my new boyfriend up to Dallas to meet the fam, and as always, my sweet Granny sent me back to Baylor with my major comfort food--her homemade mashed potatoes.  This is my Granny who washed and re-used aluminum foil.  This is the Granny who used old butter containers, cool whip containers, and the like.  I seriously had no idea people BOUGHT fancy tupperware for left-overs.  This is the Granny whose house required professional paper shredders to dispose of 800 pounds of paper because the woman clipped newspaper, saved magazines, and kept every handwritten anything someone sent her.

And this short FB conversation about our grandparent's generation who saved everything had me thinking.  Have we become a "disposible" generation?  Not that we ourselves are throw-aways...but are we a generation who throws things away too readily?  Have we lost the sacred ability to treasure and cherish things of value?

Think about it.  As consumers, so much of what we purchase is designed to be thrown away.   And the price of many things has become so cheap that when it breaks down, we just replace it.  My Granny had the same microwave my entire childhood.  She was stunned when we ran out to buy her a small, inexpensive NEW microwave for her room at the nursing home.  Now, many of these items aren't really treasures to pass on for generations.

But what about marriages, friendships, family heirlooms, family photos, family stories, extended family relationships?  Has our "disposible" mentality gone too far?  When things break down or become too cumbersome, do we toss it away?  I am a deeply relational person.  I want to connect heart to heart with people.  But, I am continually frustrated with how our society has become too busy, too plugged in, too distracted to stop and chat over a cup of tea with a neighbor or a friend to really share what's going on in our lives.

INTENTIONAL challenge:  Our recent Disney cruise was amazing for many, many reasons.  But, it wasn't until we arrived back in port and began to disembark that I realized one aspect of the cruise that made it so pleasant and enjoyable.  I looked up and saw a man on his cell phone.  In the real world, that is quite a common scene.  But, on the high seas with limited internet, passengers did not carry cell phones.  Dinner was not interrupted by electronic gadgets.  People just sat and talked and invested in each other.   

Oh that we would start a revolution.  In our own homes, would we return to some of the ways of our grandparents?  Proudly display and cherish and share the treasures from past generations.  Refuse to throw away and discard that which should be treasured and nurtured.  Hang in there for the long haul whenever possible.  Make people more important than possessions or tasks.  I think for myself, I'll start with beginning a new cool whip bowl collection as I ponder my next move.

Imposition? or Blessing?

I read a quote on a friend's FB status a few weeks ago that struck me to the core.  I can't find the exact quote right now, but there was one phrase that rang in my head over and over again.  I feel it summed up the hard truth of one of my biggest struggles in mothering.

Do I ever view my children as an imposition?  Do they ever FEEL that they are an imposition?  Or do they feel they are a blessing?  

I am a task oriented person.  That is a more delicate way of stating my tendency toward striving for worth through performance.  And, once I get started on a task, I want to stay with it until I get it accomplished.  Pile on top of that the fact that I am a planner.  Interruptions are not well received.  Now, translate these tendencies to my role as a mom.  Can you grasp the wrestling match I've been having for 12 years now?  

I wish this wasn't true about me.  I wish I was like so many moms I know--whom I perceive NEVER feel frustrated when their kids' needs interrupt their own agenda.  And, my perception is that these moms would certainly NEVER take out that frustration on their children.  I'm not sure how accurate I am in this perception.  But, let me be brutally honest and crystal clear--I have not attained such greatness.

Because the truth of it is, all too often, I realize that I am not truly responding--or more often reacting--to my children because of their behavior or disobedience.  But, more so because they interrupted me.  And, I am afraid that my children might walk away feeling like an imposition.

In the tough and glorious refining that is this year, this conviction has been slowly building until I read those words about an imposition.  Having words to put to the conviction drove the point home.  I have long prayed that I could enjoy my children more.  Not that I don't enjoy them--but I never feel that I enjoy them enough.  There's this strange confliction within me--they bring joy and meaning and a richness to me, and oh, how I adore them!  But, I can easily get to the point of feeling depleted and I need a break.  Because sometimes I feel I am losing my mind--not to mention my identity.

These last two school years of having all school age children has not been as I expected.  When they are gone to school, I do enjoy the freedom that brings, but I feel aimless.  When they get home, I feel my purpose but yet a twinge of this feeling that they have infringed on my agenda.  It's the classic grass is always greener syndrome.  All the while I have asked the Lord to show me if I am missing some mission from Him, but yet I feel confident I am right where I am supposed to be.  I just have to wrestle it through with him.  And, so I have been praying that He would help me to supernaturally go against my bent so that I can enjoy my children completely.

INTENTIONAL challenge:  As I am marinating on this idea of how I truly view my children--as impositions or blessings--I realize that I struggle with feeling like an imposition, rooted in childhood, for whatever reason.  And, I cannot articulate well enough where I currently am on this.  But, I will try.  Somewhere along the way, for whatever reason, the Lord has begun to change my heart and allowed me to replace my natural tendencies in order to give me HIS heart for these amazing children He's given me.  Don't call CPS on me--I have always loved them fiercely.  But, He is enabling me to love them well, to love them better, to pause without a second thought so that they know they are my world.  This summer, a miracle is occurring.  I am over the moon happy to see the people my children are becoming.  They really are becoming my favorite people to be with, and the usual summer struggle with needing a break hasn't overwhelmed me.  Oh, Lord--cover my failures with your grace, erase wounds I have unintentionally inflicted on them, and may they see themselves as the miraculous blessings that they are!

Frugal Friday--Cake Pops, a How-To

We had such fun watching Megan Roundtree on The Next Great Baker last fall.  We love her new bakery Legacy Cakes on Main Street in Grapevine even more.  It's like eating a little piece of heaven to eat her cupcakes and cake balls.  And, while there is NO WAY to make anything nearly as good as hers, the kids and I attempted our own, more affordable version of cake pops at home last week.

 First, the ingredients....

Cake mix (we chose red velvet)

Can of frosting

Lollipop sticks from Hobby Lobby

Pipe icing for embellishment (optional)

2 Bags of Chocolate melts from Hobby Lobby

Styrofoam to insert cake pops as they harden

First of all, bake your cake in a 13" x 9" pan, and then let it cool. 

 Look at my kids helping out!

Next, crumble it up into a large bowl.  Mix in the can of frosting, using your hands to mix it all up.  Good MESSY fun!  Then, roll into balls on a cookie sheet and freeze them for at least 20 minutes.

The next step is to melt your chocolate melts in a microwavable bowl.  Melt for about 30 seconds and stir.  Repeat until the chocolate is melted.  Stir in about 1-2 tablespoons of vegetable oil into the chocolate to thin it slightly.

Ready for the last part now!  Take your lollipop sticks and dip into the chocolate at the tip to act as the glue for the cake ball.  Then, insert that end into the cake ball.  Dip into the melted chocolate, twirling the stick to remove excess.  

Place the cake pops into the styrofoam to harden.  This can be a little messy as some chocolate may drip.  So, I put a large pan under the styrofoam to catch the drips.

NOTE:  Our cake balls started to thaw by the end, which made dipping into the chocolate difficult.  SO, if this happens, put them back into the freezer for a few minutes and then complete the process.

Once the chocolate was hardened, we drizzled the blue pipe icing to add a little extra.   Cooper wanted to add some red sprinkles as well--going for the patriotic theme with our red velvet cake, white chocolate, blue drizzles, and red sprinkles. 

Now, these aren't the prettiest cake pops...remember that this was a project WITH the kids.  And, they don't taste as good as from a bakery.... but there weren't too many complaints at the big family Fourth of July gathering.  In fact, they were gone pretty quickly!  

We are going to take a second try at it for my Caris' upcoming 7th birthday party.  Hope you have some fun with it, too!

 

Changing my Relationship Status with TV

Dear Television,

You have brought me many hours of entertainment and brainless "down time."  Of course, we've had some good times and good memories.  But, in sifting through what I've been stiffnecked about, I've come to realize that I have been way too stubborn about our relationship.  You see, our love affair has gotten out of control.  And, as I push myself to choose a deeper obedience to the Lord, I realize that I have to break up with you.  

Oh, we can still be friends.  In fact, I am realizing now that if all five of us in my little family are careful and yes, I will use this word--intentional--than our relationship with you can become healthy.  We can choose to watch a certain show on occasion, turning you on for a time limited duration.  But, gone are the days of mindlessly getting sucked in for way too much of our time.  Or, at least, I hope that is a thing of the past.

Because I care, I want to be brutally honest.  As I have stepped back and taken some time apart, I have realized some things about you that I think, for your own sake, as well as mine, that I need to point out.  Unfortunately, you seem to take over.  My children are impacted in their attitudes as they become addicted.  And, the time--oh the time--that you can demand.  This time apart has taught me that my children have BIG imaginations that can be put to better use.  And, the evenings of family time are much more enjoyable and healthy when we interact.  Oh wait--you may not know what the word interact means?   Our summer days have brought us a deeper relationship with each other because we have asked you to take a step back.

And, so, please know, that I appreciate your time and effort.  You in and of yourself are not bad.  You are a hard habit to break!  But, I think if we change our status to friends who occasionally spend time together, then it is better for everyone involved.

Warmest Regards,
Heather

Stiff Necked

Some of the most memorable times from college was when a group of us sorority sisters traveled to southwest Louisiana for a mission trip.  We'd originally wanted to go to Mexico--you know, travel to the ends of the earth, a foreign country!  But our budget and God's providence took us to a rural area to serve at a youth camp and with a local pastor.  About twenty minutes after our arrival, we realized that we had indeed gone to a foreign country.  We had never before been exposed to the finer aspects of Cajun living.

When we walked into the dining hall at the camp, one of the local teenagers who worked there approached my friend, Leah.  He asked slowly and loudly, "How long have you been in this country?"  Leah said emphatically, "All my life!"  You'd really have to know Leah to realize how hilarious this was.  We still break out in laughter when we recall the look on our quite American (albeit of Hispanic descent) friend's face. 

And, this story came to mind when my physical therapist asked last week how long my neck had been stiff.  The appropriate answer was that the Botox migraine injections were given March 4, 2011, and the stiffness began March 10.   That was the beginning of this now nearly four month journey into the aftermath of what I now know to be an overdose of Botox.  But, the truth is that I have indeed, been stiffnecked, "ALL MY LIFE!"

My Wycliffe Bible Dictionary (a FAVORITE Bible study tool of mine) defines stiffnecked as: 

rebellious and stubborn, as in an ox that

refuses to receive the yoke...the expression

conveys the idea of stubborness or obstinacy

along with arrogance; and it is associated

with an unbelief in God and rejection of 

His revealed will

Yes,bloggy friends, that would well sum me up.  And leave it to our loving Father to flesh out this tendency in me by literally making me stiffnecked.  I can be stubborn and it's nothing but arrogance that leads me to attempt to do things on my own.  And yes, to be perfectly honest, I wrestle with God constantly to believe Him.  Oh, I believe IN Him, but all too often, I struggle to actually take him at his word.  Day after day, I seem to repeat the same mistakes, rejecting His call to seek Him with all I am, in all I do, wholeheartedly.

So, let me share with you a bit of what I have learned about being stiffnecked.  When your neck doesn't work, you can't hold your head up.  I am not kidding--I literally had to put my hand under my chin to hold my head up.  You can't turn your head one way or another to gain proper perspective.  This greatly impacts your ability to function.  Driving was out of the question, along with a random assortment of other day-to-day tasks.  Brushing teeth?  Really hard to not spit all over yourself when you can't look down.  And, the pain.  It's a constant pain in the neck (ha ha!).  You have to rely on others, and at times, I would panic thinking I'd never be normal again.   The paralysis of one neck muscle has caused a ripple effect like none I've ever experienced.  

INTENTIONAL challenge:  I don't know that this side of heaven, I'll ever realize the extent of the ripple effects from my stiffnecked attitude.  What blessings have I missed and continue to miss because I am so stubborn about surrendering EVERYTHING in my life to Him?   How has my walk with Him, my witness for Him, my love for Him been impaired because of this tendency?  What functionality in the body of Christ have I missed because I was stiffnecked?  About a month ago, a sweet friend told me that she hoped I'd be back to normal soon.  And, a gentle whisper in my spirit is gaining momentum as I am learning to shout, "May I never be 'normal' again!  May I be forever changed.  May my stiff neck help me surrender my tendency to be stiff necked!"

By Way of Explanation

I certainly hope one or both of you who read this blog may have noticed my absence?!  And, I'd like to think my posts were missed (if not--just humor me).  Well, good news!  I'm BACK!  And, I wanted to start by explaining where I was.  

Well, I was here...with Mickey!  Because we were here....

On the Disney Dream!  It really was a dream.  And, while I wish that yes, we have been on that vacation since my last post, it was only a five night cruise.

So, here's the rest of the story.  My husband bought me rights to this website name several years ago for my birthday--as a nod to his belief in my writing.  It was his way of saying that he thought others might read what I have to write.  And, I've been a sporadic blogger at best.  But, I felt challenged as 2011 started to be more intentional about my writing--just as I felt challenged to claim "INTENTIONAL" as my word for the year.  I have long asked the Lord how to use my skills and interests and gifts in a way that pleased him.  Just what is it that He wants me to do when I grow up?  And, I felt that being consistent and intentional about this blog was part of that plan in this year.

As the month of May marched on, I found myself wondering if I'd said the same thing every time I've posted?  I'd wonder if I had offered anything fresh or new?  And, I found myself worrying more about how many people were reading my blog than seeking the audience of ONE who created this love of writing in me.  Because I recognized that my motivation was off, I thought it best to take a break to refocus.  

And, then there was Mickey and all his friends, and a trip that truly was remarkable for our little family of five.  I'm sure I'll have more to say about that in the weeks to come.


INTENTIONAL challenge:  What an interesting journey thus far in being intentional!  Because I've certainly been schooled on one thing for sure.  My intentions must be HIS intentions.  Otherwise, being intentional is completely misguided.   Writing a blog for the point of impressing people or gaining an audience or improving my writing skills is not the right intention.   Pressing through my days in my own strength spells trouble.  Oh, I can have good intentions...but He has certainly been teaching me that HIS intentions must be my pursuit.  


"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."  Proverbs 19:21