Liar Liar Pants on Fire

8:12 AMHeather

Have you ever tried to peel off that clear packing tape, but it's so torn up that you can't figure out where to start?  It's hard to see that line where it starts, and then most of the time when I use it, I manage to tear off a strip half it's width, so it's wound all funny and takes awhile to get it pulled off the roll to where there is a useful end, the full width.

That's sorta how I am feeling about my heart right now.  I decided to do the Bible study for Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss this fall.  Honestly, two weeks in, I KNOW that I have much to unwind in the deceit that I have taken to heart.  But, it's like that roll of packing tape.  I can't even begin to see where the line is to start pulling it off--tearing off the layers of deceit to get to the good stuff--the TRUTH.  The deceit of our enemy--who tells me that I must earn approval, prove my worth through accomplishments, never give up full control, find my value and security in earthly things.

Listen, I grew up in the church.  My dad was a pastor--as though that ranks me higher in the Christian heirarchy?  I went to a Baptist university.  I was even a GA--which shows your age if you know what that stands for.  I honestly have never had some wild period of rebellion.  But, my heart is wrapped up in deceits so deep--lies that are half-truths and therefore even harder to unravel.  Like when the packing tape gets ripped into half it's width.  I just hardly know where to start.

I know God is good.  But, I struggle to believe that he is FOR me--completely rooting for victory for me.  I know God is faithful, and He has proven that time and again.  But, all too often--instead of dwelling on his track record in order to remove my doubt, I tend to wonder if He'll come through this time?  Or will he abandon me?  I know He loves me.  But, sometimes it feels like a distant love--one you might have for a beloved relative that you rarely see.  Instead of the intimate love of a Father who craves time with me every minute of every day, walking me through every detail of life's journey.  I believe in God.  But, I struggle to BELIEVE God--to take Him at his Word and know that He means it and will never break these personal promises to me.

INTENTIONAL challenge:  Boy, do I sense that I am in for a brutally amazing doubt killing, deceit revealing ride in this journey.  I know I am in for some rude awakenings--perhaps even painful.  But, I am desperate for eyes to see the lies and deceit that this world has sold me.  I am desperate to see that line on the tape so I can start pulling off the bad, torn to shreds part.  I want the Truth.  I need him to help me handle the Truth.  I want to walk in the freedom of the good stuff.  Really knowing the TRUTH of who He is.  Really believing in His love for me and goodness toward me.  Really walking intimately with the One whose heart desire is for me to never stray from His presence.  Abba, give me eyes to see the lies, give me strength to rip them off to find the Truth.  Give me a heart to believe.  I do believe!  Lord, help my unbelief! 

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