I'm Over it
1:44 PMHeatherSince we've gotten to be such good friends here in bloggy world, I feel I can let you all in on a little secret. I am SO over this little neck issue. It's been a range of emotions that comes and goes--sorta like the stages of grief. Anger. Fear. Confusion. Acceptance. Choosing to trust. And, most of the time--feeling like a big wimp. Because people are facing much, much bigger challenges. This is but a hiccup in the road. But, oh my gravy--enough already. The regression this last week to nearly constant pain is eating my lunch.
I will be honest with you. I'm struggling with it, and praying I can wrestle through it to get back to a better place emotionally. I want to keep a good perspective here. I want to feel confident that this is just a season. I want my heart to genuinely sing a song of praise, trust, and worship--instead of mentally completing a huge complaint form. Even if I can't scrap book or craft or do other things I like or need to do for a good long while--I WANT to choose to trust. But, today, I feel about the best I can do is to want to want to.
This was my frame of mind when I went to tackle the grocery shopping today. Tired from a late night of insomnia, I was gritting my teeth to accomplish the weekly task. At this point, my grocery shopping is a finely tuned routine that I can just about do in my sleep. Coupons, G.rocery G.ame list, and grocery list app on my iPhone. You see, I grocery shop on Mondays or Tuesdays about the same time of day. It's like the television show Cheers--I like to go to a place where everyone knows my name (or my face). Totally distracted with all my Eeyore attitude, hooked up to my TENS unit, and hoping to wrap up my shopping quickly, I turned from the hair care aisle to paper goods. And, I nearly ran into my favorite checker, Janet.
For a split second I debated just a quick hello or stop and chat. I wasn't exactly feeling chipper. As I stopped and asked Janet how she was doing, she eagerly blurted out, "Nervous! I am waiting to hear from the doctor. They found a spot on my lung. Just when I quit smoking...now this!" She went on to explain how she was on pins and needles and could not hear from the doctor fast enough. My heart sank, and I felt helpless as I assured her I'd be praying for her and eager to hear what the doctor said.
INTENTIONAL challenge: Perspective. It's all a matter of perspective. My friend Leigh Anne has a great saying--"it's not fair to compare." I love that. MOST of the time, comparing our situation to others brings frustration and a sense of injustice. Like when I compare my current situation to my fully functional, pain-free self. But sometimes, when we compare it gives us better perspective. Ya know--so what if I'm not 100%? It's not life or death. So, if you are in a season of discontent--take a look to the suffering of those around you. It just might help turn your day and attitude around a bit.
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