I'm Over it

1:44 PMHeather

Since we've gotten to be such good friends here in bloggy world, I feel I can let you all in on a little secret.  I am SO over this little neck issue.  It's been a range of emotions that comes and goes--sorta like the stages of grief.  Anger.  Fear.  Confusion.  Acceptance.  Choosing to trust.  And, most of the time--feeling like a big wimp.  Because people are facing much, much bigger challenges.  This is but a hiccup in the road.  But, oh my gravy--enough already.  The regression this last week to nearly constant pain is eating my lunch.

I will be honest with you.  I'm struggling with it, and praying I can wrestle through it to get back to a better place emotionally.  I want to keep a good perspective here.  I want to feel confident that this is just a season.  I want my heart to genuinely sing a song of praise, trust, and worship--instead of mentally completing a huge complaint form.    Even if I can't scrap book or craft or do other things I like or need to do for a good long while--I WANT to choose to trust.   But, today, I feel about the best I can do is to want to want to.   

This was my frame of mind when I went to tackle the grocery shopping today.  Tired from a late night of insomnia, I was gritting my teeth to accomplish the weekly task.  At this point, my grocery shopping is a finely tuned routine that I can just about do in my sleep.  Coupons, G.rocery G.ame list, and grocery list app on my iPhone.  You see, I grocery shop on Mondays or Tuesdays about the same time of day.  It's like the television show Cheers--I like to go to a place where everyone knows my name (or my face).  Totally distracted with all my Eeyore attitude, hooked up to my TENS unit, and hoping to wrap up my shopping quickly, I turned from the hair care aisle to paper goods.  And, I nearly ran into my favorite checker, Janet.  

For a split second I debated just a quick hello or stop and chat.  I wasn't exactly feeling chipper.  As I stopped and asked Janet how she was doing, she eagerly blurted out, "Nervous!  I am waiting to hear from the doctor.  They found a spot on my lung.  Just when I quit smoking...now this!"  She went on to explain how she was on pins and needles and could not hear from the doctor fast enough.  My heart sank, and I felt helpless as I assured her I'd be praying for her and eager to hear what the doctor said. 

INTENTIONAL challenge:  Perspective.  It's all a matter of perspective.  My friend Leigh Anne has a great saying--"it's not fair to compare."  I love that.  MOST of the time, comparing our situation to others brings frustration and a sense of injustice.  Like when I compare my current situation to my fully functional, pain-free self.  But sometimes, when we compare it gives us better perspective.  Ya know--so what if I'm not 100%?  It's not life or death.   So, if you are in a season of discontent--take a look to the suffering of those around you.  It just might help turn your day and attitude around a bit.

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