The Gen-u-whine Article

10:28 AMHeather

At lunch last week with two dear friends, one of them recounted how a neighbor told her she was the "women who had it all together." This seemed to sting a bit for my friend because she strives for authenticity. Enduring a season of loneliness, she wondered if others had some false perception of her that kept them from seeking her out. She hungers to deeply connect with others, with no false pretenses hindering that connection.

This conversation has rung in my mind over and over. It reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Casting Crowns, Stained Glass Masquerade.

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

If we are going to share this time together around this blog, I want to be sure that I am not putting walls around my weaknesses and that I am not living some stained glass masquerade. Being genuine and authentic is very important to me. As I learned at a revival at our church last year, I want to create a home that is HOT. Honest. Open. Transparent.

So, here goes. Hi, my name is Heather, and I am a recovering perfectionist, people pleaser, and worrier. By the grace of God, I have been released from the strongholds of fear and rejection. But, I tend to fret and wrestle issues out with the Lord, striving to surrender them to him, and praying, "I do believe! HELP my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24). Some old wounds still sting at times, when I read between the lines way too much, and over analyze things. Then, I have to talk myself off the ledge remembering that I am chosen by the God of the universe, and rejection is not my identity. In other words, sometimes the voices in my head talk loudly! And, it's not unusual for me to find myself saying, "STOP BEING SO IMPATIENT!" to my children through clenched teeth. Um, yeah. Do as I say not as I do--doesn't work.

One of my goals with my children is to show them how to cope with those imperfections in themselves AND in others. It's a fact of life that no one is perfect. I work hard to apologize when I mess up with them. I try to relate their struggles to my own so that they never feel the weight of perfectionism. And, I'm sure I fall short a million times over. I do not have it all together. I need the strength of my husband and church family and friends to hold me accountable and keep me going. Nothing thrills me more than finding a safe place to fall where I can let it all hang out.

INTENTIONAL challenge: Don't we all need a safe place to be transparent? Is your home this place? Do you have friendships where you can be H.O.T? What is one step you can take to drop your masquerade with your husband, your children, your friends?

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